We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
