I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
