she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
