I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
