I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
