I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
