Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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