I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
