Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
