On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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