But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
