I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
