He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
