im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
