i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize