You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
