good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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