Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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