Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just found a bag of teeth...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why are your pants in the freezer?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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