I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
