I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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