Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
