How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
sarcasm needs its own font
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
