i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think my moral compass just broke
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