She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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