Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize