Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize