After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
