Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
