HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize