What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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