I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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