I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
