You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
