I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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