I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
