hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize