her vagina looked like bernie madoff
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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