ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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