It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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