I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
