Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
