Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
