i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
