I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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