I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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