I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
