i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
