so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
