i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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