All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
