They should really pass out barf bags in church
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
third nipple confirmed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
