so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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