Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
