Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm at about main and main street
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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