i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
