ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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