i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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