so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
