You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
