i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
