Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
