i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
