you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
