I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
